Outside the Operating Room of the Sex-Change Doctor - Sharon Olds
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In an Operating Room Outside of the Cis Woman’s Imagination - Torrin A. Greathouse
Content warning: Poems include descriptive language regarding anatomy and simplified descriptions of surgical procedures. Analysis discusses sexual violence.&
In an Operating Room Outside of the Cis Woman’s Imagination - Torrin A. Greathouse
Outside the Operating Room of the Sex-Change Doctor - Sharon Olds
Outside the operating room of the sex-change doctor, a tray
of penises.
There is no blood. This is not Vietnam, Chile, Buchenwald.
They were surgically removed under anesthetic. They lie there
neatly, each with a small space around it.
The anesthetic is wearing off now. The chopped-off sexes lie
on the silver tray.
One says I am a weapon thrown down. Let there be no more
killing.
Another says I am a thumb lost in the threshing machine.
Bright straw fills the air. I will never have to work again.
The third says I am a caul removed from his eyes. Now he
can see.
The fourth says I want to be painted by Gericault, a still life
with a bust of Apollo, a drape of purple velvet, and a vine of ivy
leaves.
The fifth says I was a dirty little dog, I knew he’d have me
put to sleep.
The sixth says I am safe. Now no one can hurt me.
Only one is unhappy. He lies there weeping in terrible grief,
crying out Father, Father!
Next I want to highlight Sharon Olds’ “Outside the Operating Room of the Sex-Change Doctor” and Torrin A. Greathouse’s “In an Operating Room Outside of the Cis Woman’s Imagination.”
Olds’ poem was published in 1987 as part of a larger collection of her works titled “The Gold Cell.” Much of her work is influenced by and/or focuses on themes of gender roles, political and social issues, sexual and gendered violence, and religion. “Outside the Operating Room of the Sex-Change Doctor” deals with themes of violence motivated by masculinity and sex. As I understand it, the intention of this poem is to highlight that a lot of domestic, sexual, and otherwise gendered violence is a product of cultural norms surrounding masculinity, and this is told through the lens of removing penises as a way to stop violence.
I feel it’s important to state that my interpretation of this may be wrong. I’ve found very few analyses of this work online, and no commentary about it from Olds. From what I did read about Olds, I do not believe that she’s transphobic or that she intended for this poem to be interpreted in that way. However, this poem has largely been criticized for its framing of the male body as a weapon and for its potentially transphobic interpretations. I thought Maxwell Suzuki’s review of “The Gold Cell” did an effective job of explaining why this poem is problematic.
In an Operating Room Outside of the Cis Woman’s Imagination - Torrin A. Greathouse
In an operating room outside of the cis woman’s imagination,
no tray of organs—severed.
No blood for her to leaden with a massacre’s name.
After anesthesia, nothing is removed. Nothing wasted. Instead, skin
budded inward, a rose blooming into its own mouth.
While the patient is still sedated, the doctor scalpels genesis,
sutures her body toward the truth.
There is no organ severed & named a weapon for the convenience
of a body’s disposal.
No organ severed & speaking at all. Made a puppet in the lazy
pantomime of metaphor.
If anything is cut away, let it be the word his from the tip
of the cis woman’s tongue. Let it be her tongue.
If anything speaks, let it be the new & perfect organ, who says
I was a Georgia O’Keefe painting dressed in drag & now, darlings
see how I bloom, how my petals slowdance the breeze.
The cis woman’s severed tongue says nothing—least of all
to name trans women animals.
The poem is about imagination? Right? I want to tell you
that I believe the tongue would whisper I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
I’m not willing to lie.
“In an Operating Room Outside of the Cis Woman’s Imagination” is Torrin A. Greathouse’s response to Olds’ poem. Greathouse’s poem challenges the idea that sex reassignment surgery (SRS) represents loss and instead depicts it as creation. Her poem also refutes Olds’ use of the word “his” to describe the SRS patients, a line that is frequently directly cited as being transphobic. It’s a great poem and a well composed response.
I opted to include these poems not to call out Sharon Olds, but because I felt like the first poem is a good example of harmful language coming from a lack of proper background, and the response is very effective in refuting the perspective presented in the first poem.
A Letter to the Girl I Used to Be - Ethan Smith
Ethan Smith’s “A Letter to the Girl I Used to Be” covers a lot of the themes I have already discussed at length this week, but I still wanted to include it because it’s a very powerfully written and delivered slam poem about how complicated, messy, and non-linear transitioning is. Importantly, it focuses on the guilt and loss associated with transitioning. Ethan discusses how he feels sorry about the life he chose not to live, but that he doesn’t regret his decision to transition. It’s a very real feeling, you can absolutely know that transitioning is right for you and still feel guilty or unsure about it at the same time.
The poem is about Ethan reconciling with himself and processing his feelings of guilt. It’s particularly effective in the final line, “P.S. I never hated you,” which reads to me as forgiving himself and recognizing that his transition wasn’t about removing his past, but growing. It’s a theme I’ve talked about a lot because it’s a really common shared sentiment that takes a long time to recognize.
I don’t have a lot more to say about this poem. I was originally considering cutting it from the list just because I wasn't sure what else I could say about it, but I really respect this poem and felt like it was worth the inclusion at the risk of being repetitive.
Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep - Mary Elizabeth Frye
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
I’ll be ending the day with a lighter poem. As a brief aside before I get into this one, this poem is commonly attributed to Mary Elizabeth Frye but it is also sometimes attributed to Clare Harner, and the original author of this poem is not confirmed.
“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” is a mourning poem with a message essentially telling the listener to remember the speaker by how they lived rather than by their death. It has a beautiful message with a very warm tone, but I’ve always enjoyed its reading in a trans context.
One theme that I’ve touched on only very briefly this week is death. Parents struggling to come to terms with their children come out as trans often express feeling like they’ve lost a child. This was a theme in Redemption by Backxwash from yesterday, when she sang “Feel like you lost a son but you gained a daughter,” and Ethan Smith’s “A Letter to the Girl I Used to Be” also talks about this feeling from a first person perspective. In this sense, “death” is sometimes used in place of “metamorphosis.” Reading this poem from this perspective shifts it to a response to those feelings. In particular, “I am not there. I did not die” feels like a proud declaration defying the idea that the person you were before transitioning is dead and lost, and instead you’re still the person you’ve always been. It’s an important distinction, because transitioning is something that should be viewed as positive and healthy change, rather than something to grieve over.
With those six poems, this wraps up day six. I hope today wasn’t too heavy or out of place compared to the rest of the week. Poetry is definitely a departure from the other media forms I’ve discussed up to this point, but each of these six poems has been very thought provoking for me and has affected my own outlook on transitioning. Thank you very much for following along so far and I’m looking forward to closing out the week tomorrow.