It is with a really heavy heart that I post this thread today. I unfortunately need to take a more permanent step back from Giant’s Lair.
10 years ago, young anna desperately wanted to prove herself. While she never got the chance to be Lead, she tried her hardest all the same. This time around, while Lead was a really cool concept, it wasn’t something I was specifically striving for. I’m 30 years old now. But somehow as I continued to be involved here and more of my life was taken up by all the beautiful people here, I found that deep desire to do something more. This opportunity has not been lost on me. To finally get the chance to lead the community and in a position that I felt was perfect for my skillset was a dream come true.
I had some fantastic fun times even before getting Lead. Between getting MTG game nights up and running, starting a successful book club, running writing club and creative writing sprints, scribble.io nights and obviously kicking it on the ttt server, there have been a lot of good and fond memories made. Being able to elevate my commitment here and give as much as I could to the role was an opportunity I will forever be grateful for and thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way.
Unfortunately, there are a few contributing factors to me taking this leave. Obviously as the Lead Admin of communications, it took a lot of time to get things right. Being a new role, there was no one to base my work off. I had to pave the way and for me, the important part of being a good communicator is that you first must be a good listener. To do that, it required be to be reading lots and lots of discord msgs. Not just in the staff channels discussing bigger and better things, but all channels. Yes I, the crazy bitch, was reading hundreds of messages every day so I could better understand people, the dynamics, what made people tick, what made them band together and I would often spend my first moments in the morning and last moments at night catching up on a lot of msgs. That also involved lots of typing and writing.
Being in another timezone meant that when most of the fun stuff happened, I was at work. The last couple of months took a very heavy toll on me in that respect. While everything was going on, I was so desperate to understand all sides of the situation that I would spend literally hours reading THOUSANDS of message. Both on the server and in my dms and be actively messaging and ensuring that the people I spoke to were heard. It often meant the last 2 months that I was not as active in sharing my opinions or being involved in conversations in the server to the extent I used to because I was so busy reading everything else before. It also meant that the msgs I did send were often long, or very deeply thought out so there were few and far between cause that takes brain power. It just really isn’t sustainable when you have a full time job and are in aussie land. Like I had to like sneak my phone in a new job I had just started while trying to help put fires out and support both the team and the members of the community. I like to think I did a pretty good job, or as best as I could. I tried to advocate for all sides, tried my best to understand, digest and communicate ways in which we could do better, be better, act better. I also know I could have done better but I did what I could and I hope I was able to help people at the very least. I’m sorry I couldn’t have done more.
Quite recently I have received a diagnosis that has changed my life a little. A good change because now I can finally get the medical help that I need but it also requires me to put more time into me and making the best choices so that I can start to get better or at least not get worse. The stress of trying to be the very best at this job is just too much for me right now along with all the other stresses of my real life. It isn’t fair to the community to have someone who can’t give their all to the role, especially such an important and pivotal role that is communications lead.
I have done the best that I can and I am sorry that I have not done more. I have set up some infrastructure to help get things where they need to be with regards to discord and discord staff. I have given this role my all. It pains me to give up something that I so desperately wanted once upon a time ago, but it is just not something I can continue to do right now. Who knows maybe one day I might come back.
I will continue to be active in an advisory role (granted leadership still want me there
) and I will still be around here as much as I can and when time zones allow. I am so fucking grateful that I got to reconnect with so many wonderful and amazing people; people that I thought I would never get to see again or spend time with again. I am also grateful for all the new friendships I have made, for all the people that are now a bigger part of my life and who are such supportive friends.
Love you all <3
-anna (p.s im sorry for anything ive forgotten and any typos. im emotional and tired)
10 years ago, young anna desperately wanted to prove herself. While she never got the chance to be Lead, she tried her hardest all the same. This time around, while Lead was a really cool concept, it wasn’t something I was specifically striving for. I’m 30 years old now. But somehow as I continued to be involved here and more of my life was taken up by all the beautiful people here, I found that deep desire to do something more. This opportunity has not been lost on me. To finally get the chance to lead the community and in a position that I felt was perfect for my skillset was a dream come true.
I had some fantastic fun times even before getting Lead. Between getting MTG game nights up and running, starting a successful book club, running writing club and creative writing sprints, scribble.io nights and obviously kicking it on the ttt server, there have been a lot of good and fond memories made. Being able to elevate my commitment here and give as much as I could to the role was an opportunity I will forever be grateful for and thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way.
Unfortunately, there are a few contributing factors to me taking this leave. Obviously as the Lead Admin of communications, it took a lot of time to get things right. Being a new role, there was no one to base my work off. I had to pave the way and for me, the important part of being a good communicator is that you first must be a good listener. To do that, it required be to be reading lots and lots of discord msgs. Not just in the staff channels discussing bigger and better things, but all channels. Yes I, the crazy bitch, was reading hundreds of messages every day so I could better understand people, the dynamics, what made people tick, what made them band together and I would often spend my first moments in the morning and last moments at night catching up on a lot of msgs. That also involved lots of typing and writing.
Being in another timezone meant that when most of the fun stuff happened, I was at work. The last couple of months took a very heavy toll on me in that respect. While everything was going on, I was so desperate to understand all sides of the situation that I would spend literally hours reading THOUSANDS of message. Both on the server and in my dms and be actively messaging and ensuring that the people I spoke to were heard. It often meant the last 2 months that I was not as active in sharing my opinions or being involved in conversations in the server to the extent I used to because I was so busy reading everything else before. It also meant that the msgs I did send were often long, or very deeply thought out so there were few and far between cause that takes brain power. It just really isn’t sustainable when you have a full time job and are in aussie land. Like I had to like sneak my phone in a new job I had just started while trying to help put fires out and support both the team and the members of the community. I like to think I did a pretty good job, or as best as I could. I tried to advocate for all sides, tried my best to understand, digest and communicate ways in which we could do better, be better, act better. I also know I could have done better but I did what I could and I hope I was able to help people at the very least. I’m sorry I couldn’t have done more.
Quite recently I have received a diagnosis that has changed my life a little. A good change because now I can finally get the medical help that I need but it also requires me to put more time into me and making the best choices so that I can start to get better or at least not get worse. The stress of trying to be the very best at this job is just too much for me right now along with all the other stresses of my real life. It isn’t fair to the community to have someone who can’t give their all to the role, especially such an important and pivotal role that is communications lead.
I have done the best that I can and I am sorry that I have not done more. I have set up some infrastructure to help get things where they need to be with regards to discord and discord staff. I have given this role my all. It pains me to give up something that I so desperately wanted once upon a time ago, but it is just not something I can continue to do right now. Who knows maybe one day I might come back.
I will continue to be active in an advisory role (granted leadership still want me there
) and I will still be around here as much as I can and when time zones allow. I am so fucking grateful that I got to reconnect with so many wonderful and amazing people; people that I thought I would never get to see again or spend time with again. I am also grateful for all the new friendships I have made, for all the people that are now a bigger part of my life and who are such supportive friends.Love you all <3
-anna (p.s im sorry for anything ive forgotten and any typos. im emotional and tired)
