GL isn't dying. It's being reborn.

[RyanHighman]

Rhaz, I love yah, but wtf. I’m glad you’re not so ingrained in each of these opinions and are open to what others are posting, so I’ll just touch on a few things:

-Don’t refer to it as “the dead mom thing”. It’s insanely dismissive and disrespectful, regardless of who you blame for what went down.

-Yes, this doesn’t have to be a gmod community, but when the owner goes out of their way to source 90% of their community from the last 2 gmod communities, there is a fair expectation that gmod is going to be a core focus. If he wanted a small place to chill and vibe with friends, he could have done that. If wants to try and grow membership and a community, he needs to have much better control over his biases and ego.

 

[RyanHighman]

if you don't like that direction you have 3 options. You can leave and move on with your life, fight to change that direction, or stay mad and shit talk Jabba/leadership with no goals in mind. Just make sure you don't convince yourself that you're taking the second option when you're really taking the third.

Myself and others have spent far too much time and effort on option 2 over the past year. This is the culmination of consistently not being heard. Jabba, don’t give us the illusion of a voice if you’re going to be immovable in your stances.

 

[RhazhBash]

I don't care if this post or the OP gets dislikes, and I don't care how much hate I get for it. I've been bottling up these feelings for too long and I'm tired of hiding it.

I don't have the strength Anna has. It's not my place to tell Sunny to be more mature in that situation, because I've done dumb shit when I got pushed over the edge and I did it from all this drama. You don't have to agree with me on this, I just want people to understand.

All this drama hits me close to home. It dug up some bad memories and I went berserk over it. I let my hate towards Proper control me, and for that I'm sorry.

As wrong as I was about Proper and the Pierogi situation, I stand by everything else I mentioned in the OP. Mainly the part about smile. He's being told to stop sending unsolicited DMs. His messages are harmless, and if Anna can tell me and Sunny to be more mature about how we deal with people who pick on us, I can tell Shaddoll and his server that they need to be more mature about how they handle DMs that make them feel uncomfortable. He's doing his best trying to be a good person, he's doing a better job than a lot of us, myself included, and we should see it for what it is. He's socially awkward, but a lot of the people in this community were just like him at one point.

EDIT:Naming the player.

@RyanHighman I'm not here for the servers. I never have been. I haven't enjoyed TTT since 2014, but I've stuck around for the community. I've met some of my closest friends here, and I don't think moving away from gmod is gonna change anything.

 

[Pierogi]

I don't care if this post or the OP gets dislikes, and I don't care how much hate I get for it. I've been bottling up these feelings for too long and I'm tired of hiding it.

I don't have the strength Anna has. It's not my place to tell Sunny to be more mature in that situation, because I've done dumb shit when I got pushed over the edge and I did it from all this drama. You don't have to agree with me on this, I just want people to understand.

All this drama hits me close to home. It dug up some bad memories and I went berserk over it. I let my hate towards Proper control me, and for that I'm sorry.

As wrong as I was about Proper and the Pierogi situation, I stand by everything else I mentioned in the OP. Mainly the part about smile. He's being told to stop sending unsolicited DMs. His messages are harmless, and if Anna can tell me and Sunny to be more mature about how we deal with people who pick on us, I can tell Shaddoll and his server that they need to be more mature about how they handle DMs that make them feel uncomfortable. He's doing his best trying to be a good person, he's doing a better job than a lot of us, myself included, and we should see it for what it is. He's socially awkward, but a lot of the people in this community were just like him at one point.

EDIT:Naming the player.

@RyanHighman I'm not here for the servers. I never have been. I haven't enjoyed TTT since 2014, but I've stuck around for the community. I've met some of my closest friends here, and I don't think moving away from gmod is gonna change anything.

I know you’re getting clowned for this but I 100% understand, proper’s effect on men needs to be studied

 

[titan]

wow, rhazh, that was a really fucking dumb OP. you should probably go through and strikeout whatever parts you "don't stand by" anymore. cause come the fuck on man. i'm glad you are reflecting on how poor some of the aspects of your first post come off.

i know it's alluring to want to be apart of things, but damn if you're admitting that you haven't been paying attention and you don't want to read any of the prior discourse, i just can't figure out why you'd still throw a long winded post into the mix.

His messages are harmless,

i'm not going to dive into this, but the idea that constant messages like those are completely fine is a perspective with very little depth.

 

[RhazhBash]

I'm not taking anything out of the OP. I said what I said and I'm not gonna hide from it, even if what I said was wrong.

 

[titan]

I'm not taking anything out of the OP. I said what I said and I'm not gonna hide from it, even if what I said was wrong.

i'm not asking you to take anything out; i specifically suggested the strike formatting feature. it works like this.

you don't have to do it, but it might make it easier to engage in discourse, since it's rather unclear which portions you stand by and which portions you do not.

 

[Chou]

dead mom thing

wtf, am I in a simulation?

 

[Etch]

What Sunny told Pierogi was wrong and shouldn't have been said, but like my situation in 7th grade, the fault isn't entirely on her.

Theres a massive difference between a 13 year old 7th grader and a grown ass woman, While I understand fully how horrid bullying can be, I came out as gay in a backwoods Indiana town, an adult SHOULD be expected to act in a better manner than a 13 yr old child.

So no, I'm sorry, Don't make a single fucking excuse for the retched comment she willing typed out and made.

*EDIT* Legit the only thing needed to start actually healing this community is a simple but sincere apology from Jabba in his handling of this entire situation. 99% of the discourse surrounding this entire situation doesn't lead back to the bans or the players banned, but how the bans came about and how Jabba personally responded to this mess.

 

[Ryan]

Honestly the replies to this thread, and others, should be enough to tell anyone that this community is just made up of bullies.

Thank you for standing up to bullies Rhaz.

 

[Pierogi]

Honestly the replies to this thread, and others, should be enough to tell anyone that this community is just made up of bullies.

Thank you for standing up to bullies Rhaz.

Just curious, do you consider false accusations of stuff like sexism, racism, maybe even antisemitism to be bullying? Because I think most people would

 

[Ryan]

Just curious, do you consider false accusations of stuff like sexism, racism, maybe even antisemitism to be bullying? Because I think most people would

Of course, why wouldn't I?

Rhaz is a good man and I'm proud to have known him. Standing up to bullies is a defining characteristic of who I am, and I'm glad to know another like me.

 

[ari]

Honestly the replies to this thread, and others, should be enough to tell anyone that this community is just made up of bullies.

Thank you for standing up to bullies Rhaz.

think you two might be alone on this take considering the reactions

 

[Polly]

 

[Siddo]

Honestly the replies to this thread, and others, should be enough to tell anyone that this community is just made up of bullies.

As a person who was bullied growing up for being awkward and who lives with a funny social anxiety, I've read every reply on this thread a couple of times now, and I am genuinely not seeing the bullying or the bullies here.
Bullying can be subtle and subversive, so if you can point it out to me I would love to see specifically where it is - you can DM me if you prefer. Because I might be blind to it despite my own experiences.

That said, because of my social anxiety, I often see ghosts. I pick up on bad vibes in text very quickly, even when the vibes are actually fine to others. So I have to do a lot of second-guessing, a lot of checks and balances on myself, to avoid overreacting or reading too much into things based on my own bias. But even if I disregard that system, at most I see people here fervently disagreeing with stated opinions or thinking it's weird. I don't see anyone badgering, demeaning, harassing, ostracizing, or otherwise bullying any other user here in this thread specifically. People have up to this point been animated, no doubt, but from what I can see right now, bullying is a stretch.

I'm genuinely saddened to hear that you think our community is just bullies. I think we've had bullies here in the past and we will have bullies in the future. I'm hoping we can move forward with a better system for dealing with rule-breaking behaviour in the moment, in a constructive manner. I think, perhaps naively, that everyone who comes here wants to be here. And that desire is what we need to foster and shelter if we want GL to indeed be reborn. We need to make this a fun place, a place people want to be. A community if you will. And rooting out people that act maliciously is a part of that, without a doubt. But I think because of all our shared or partially shared history, we've all been seeing ghosts; inheriting drama and interpersonal fuckery from past iterations. I genuinely believe that if we sit down and talk it out, heart to heart, 80% of us would get along and could tolerate the 20% that we don't get along with. But we've allowed quiet resentment and learned helplessness to replace open, honest conversation. And thanks to Rick bursting our bubble, people are finally all blurting out all the shit that's been on their mind and in their hearts. This is where the healing begins.

We can be a good community. We have so many wonderful people here that despite everything blowing up still want to stick around, to make it one. So I'd love if we could move away from saying people are bullies - or that they are acting with bad intentions, bad faith, or whatever else terms we've adopted to justify not listening to each other. We can be a good community.

uhhh
tl;dr:
bullying bad, lets be friends